2013 adult phone chat trials
2013 adult phone chat trials - Vouyercams
That said, there are so many people in my life who are so wonderful. Who send notes or emails of support months after the initial shock. Texting and email help because talking on the phone is almost always too much of an ordeal and/or inconvenient. They are probably learning a lot of information in a short period of time and may not even know the details of their diagnosis and treatment.I have friends who email me at the beginning of the week to say, “I’ll be at the grocery store, the drugstore, and the post office this week. ” Some will text on the spur of the moment, “Running to Costco. They don’t expect you to have the knowledge but you need a way to connect. Things will work out.” Saying this to someone with stage 4 cancer comes across as dismissive of the seriousness of their diagnosis.
I just didn’t know.” I would bet that if that same scenario happened again, Julie’s mom would act differently. When I’m having a bad day there is something about pulling out a card, seeing handwriting, reading a message.Later in the chapter Julie recounts being a friend to someone who had to terminate a pregnancy. Give her reminders that she is not forgotten even if she is not out in public. It’s just more personal than seeing it on a screen.She asks Julie a question that continues to haunt me: The truth of the matter is that for some it will. I love getting cards or texts or emails that tell me what my friends are up to. Of course texts and emails are great for frequent check-ins, but for a special message? Other winners to me are notes that remind me of a funny experience a friend and I had, a favorite memory. They will send me a pretty card and tell me what they saw at the farmer’s market or in their own garden or what they’re looking forward to about Spring. I don’t like religious quotations or cards that focus on people praying for me or hoping for a miracle.I can’t tell you how many times people find out about my stage 4 diagnosis and say, “But you LOOK just fine!” The two are not always correlated, most especially at the time of diagnosis. But the rest of that comment, the dark underbelly, is “You don’t look like you’re dying” or in some ways more insidious, “If you look that good you can’t possibly be that sick/it can’t be that serious.” Don’t say you know you to be a good friend if you have had cancer, but it’s no guarantee. While the experience might have similarities, it doesn’t mean we will necessarily agree on how to deal with it.Finally, I always love my mother’s suggestion for one of the best questions you can ask in any situation whether it be posed to a friend, a spouse, a child, a coworker.
When someone comes to you with a complaint, a problem, or a rant asking the simple question, is a wonderful way to be supportive. I hope you all have a good weekend, we are starting to feel Spring here and boy, does it feel good!They’re fine now.” (Okay, but some people are not fine… So while you might think it’s supportive (in your mind you’re saying, “See, I’m being supportive and reassuring her that it might not be as bad as she thinks”) what that person may reasonably hear is, “Wow, if you have to take time off work you are weak, or at least not as strong as my coworker was.” What would be something better to say to a coworker? I’ll ask again to make sure you’re getting the help you might need.” Asking “Has this been a good week or bad week for you?How about “Please tell me how I can help you during this time. ” seems like a good bet to ask someone you might not be best friends with.If it were as easy to defeat cancer as mindset, people would not die of it by the thousands every day.Similarly, comments about appearance while rampant, can strike the wrong chord.Do not turn it back on you, or when you had cancer, or when your child or mother or 2nd grade teacher did. Chiming in with, “Oh, my second cousin’s boyfriend’s dog walker had breast cancer” doesn’t help a person, especially if it’s followed by “She suffered in pain for a long time and died” (yes, this gets said more often than you can imagine).